I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
