she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
