I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
