i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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