If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You dont lie about slip and slides
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
