Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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