"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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