i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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