well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
