i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
