dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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