That's intense
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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