You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just gargled with NyQuil
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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