mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
