his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You know, be my cock's hype man.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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