the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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