it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
