I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
We need a shit load of segways right now
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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