Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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