no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Still dying that you shit outside
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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