I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
