____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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