Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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