Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
