Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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