we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Randomize
