I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
