i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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