my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
I'm really busy with my period
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