somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
