Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
