Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
