I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
