I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
