Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
