dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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