their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I supernannyed him into submission
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
