nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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