Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
