We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
