T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
