I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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