Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
