i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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