i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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