And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
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