theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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