my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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