things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
