My room smells like vodka and shame
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
not ubering you a puppy
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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