I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
