I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
