I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
